Email #11

Hello all!  Thank you for your continued prayers and support.  Our family has been so very blessed throughout this whole experience.  To have so many people praying for us is incredible.

I am doing good.  My last visit to the doctor for Chemo was not a success.  It appears that as each treatment passes my body, on the inside, seems to be taking it sort of hard.  My side effects have been very manageable... often times hardly any... praise the Lord!  On the inside of my body my white and red blood cell counts have gotten very low.  I have been giving myself shots to help them come up.  I am not able to take the shots while I am on Chemo, and this last week as I went in for my second treatment, my numbers, which need to be at least 1000 were at 200 which meant I had to stop my treatment. 

We have rescheduled treatment to begin again on Nov 25 and I will get the second one on Dec 2 (in addition taking chemo pills for the 2 weeks).  Because of my battle with my numbers, my doctor is changing my shot regimen, so I am not sure what that will be.  I am excited to say that I have also been able to schedule, what in theory, will be my last treatment cycle... Dec 23 and Dec 30.  I say theoretically because whenever my human little brain tries to get a lock on "what I can expect" my body seems to have other plans.  I know God wants me to be waiting on Him and His timing.  I am at peace about the treatments, they may decide to extend them in to January.  God is so faithful, I am going to just let Him work it out with the doctors :)

One area where you can pray for me is my heart.  One of the Chemo medicines has a possible side effect of damaging the heart.  My heart already has a murmur and it has been acting up more lately.  I have already had an EKG and I will perhaps do the treadmill test next week.  This may effect my treatment if they should decide that I can no longer be on this particular Chemo medicine.  I appreciate your prayers.

God has been doing exceptional things in my life.  Each visit to the hospital brings more unexpected joys.  The children love to go there and be with their Dad.  They read and play together while I get my treatments.  Chris takes them to the Library in the Hospital or the large waiting area on the first floor while I get my Chemo.  The kids accept this as a fun adventure for the family each visit.  We are so thankful.  Other blessings come in the form of the people I get to communicate with while I am there.  Over the last couple of weeks, during my many long waits in the waiting room, I have encountered some pretty special people. 

One day there was two older gentlemen whom have retired from the Army in the 1970's.  They have been best buddies for about 50 years, facing everything together from war to peace.  Now they were facing one of the men's battle with cancer.  He has tumors throughout his chest and back.  He does not want to tell his wife so she does not worry.  He said "she knows I have cancer, she just does not need to know the rest, she worries too much about me already".  So he begins his new chapter of his life with his buddy still by his side, joking and talking.. helping the time of the wait to pass.  I could see the fear in his eyes.  I tried sharing with him what experiences that I had, how God helped me each step, to bring him comfort.  It is interesting to me how a person's age can transform in their eyes from an older person to a child when it comes to fear.

I had the pleasure to meet another gentleman that day.  He is a sweet natured Indian man in what appears to be his 40's, who has been on Chemo for the last 22 months and is still going.  I did not get much more information about his scenario, but I was encouraged by his gentle nature and perseverance to endure for so long what he has faced.  I look forward to getting to know him better in the future.

On another visit, I got to meet two sweet young ladies.  The first young lady was sitting in a seat near mine grasping the hand tightly of her husband.  She appeared to be in her late 20's.  She had a look on her face of determination to hold her emotions on the inside.  I knew on my heart that this had to be a new experience for her.  I struck up conversation with her, and learned that she was here for her first treatment.  I shared with her of my experience and how God helped me with my side effects and I answered some questions.  I had a few hats with me that day so I was able to give her one.  I could see the mixed emotions in her facial expression.. thankful for the gift, yet afraid to face the loss of her hair.  After she was taken into the Chemo room for her treatment I saw a young couple walking together down the hall.  Her head was down and there appeared to have a cloud of gloom and despair following them.  I watched as they went into the room with the counselor.  I prayed for them and for myself as I knew God wanted me to reach out to them.  Time had passed and I saw the husband standing alone and I knew this was the moment that God opened for me. I got up and crossed the room and stood with him in the empty hall.

"Hi, my name is Donna Robbins"  I said.  "I know that look on your faces because my husband and I had the same expressions not too long ago." I said with a chuckle in my voice.  He smiled a small grin as the tension he had been caring eased a bit. 

"They have found a cancerous tumor in my wife"  he shared.

"Do you know the treatment yet?" I asked.

"No, that is why we are here today." he replied.

"Well I have breast cancer and I am 3/4 the way through my treatment and if I can help you by answering your questions or anything just let me know." I said, not really knowing exactly what to say.  I looked down and realized I had the bag of hats with me "A sweet friend of mine from my church makes these hats, I would like to give this to you to give to your wife.  Even if she doesn't have to lose her hair, these are cute hats to wear".  As he reached for it I saw him glance at the white paper that dangled from the safety pin the was clipped on. 

"That is a note from my friend and I." I knew that on that paper was the words God gave us to share about Him and salvation.  I knew it was in His timing when they should read it.

He thanked me and just then his wife walked up to where we were talking.  I introduced myself to her and sort of recapped what her husband and I had been talking about.  I felt the need to share with her the reassurance that Jesus provided me during my journey.  We stood and shared for about 5 more minutes, I tried to just tell her the basics, how faithful God was and how important it is to look to Him for strength.  Just then her name was called to go into to see the doctor.  I asked her for her name,

"Karen" she replied as they were beginning to walk away. 

"I will add you to my prayers Karen" I assured her as they walked down the hall.

As I shared with you, my times at the hospital are special, filled with unique encounters and unexpected joys.  I have become friends with the Oncology staff, as well as patients that I get to see on my many return visits to the clinic.  We look to each other with happy smiles to get to share time together, all the while ignoring the reason that had brought us together.  We share our treatment challenges and our family stories.  We get to know each other as those who are stuck in an elevator would, I assume.  Concentrated time to get to know each other, allowing the person's real feelings underlying life's circumstances to come out.  Having to face a fearful circumstance, each one us facing it differently.

I have recently found out that a dear friend of the family, whom we lovingly call "Aunt Pat", has been diagnosed with cancer.  They removed her spleen and part of her pancreas and they said it is in her lymph nodes.  I used to be one to think the worst when I heard words like that, as if a heavy ball fell to the pit of my stomach when I heard the news.  Now, having seen people who have been living with their diagnosis for years, I have a renewed hope for what God will do in her life.  There is hope.  God has allowed doctors and researchers to come up with amazing medicines and plans.  The real hope lies in Jesus though.  Each one of us is going to die.  It is just those of us with "wake-up calls" that face it.  I have the peace of where I am going after I die, so that fear is gone.  I pray my Aunt Pat will have that same peace.  I pray for her to look to Jesus for strength as each new day, and the challenges it brings, come her way.  If you would like to pray, I know those prayers will be heard, answered and appreciated.

I just keep in focus that God is allowing this in my life for a reason.  Knowing Him, He is allowing it for more than one reason :).  I know that God has allowed me to have cancer to draw me closer to Him. To rely on Him for all of my needs, wants and desires.  To know Him better and want to serve Him more.  To reach out in His name to those in need, creating for me a unique circumstance of empathy to share.  To look to Him for direction as each new day comes.  I pray I continue to focus on Him as this scenario becomes yet another memory for me in my life.

I love you all.  I thank you again for your loving support and understanding.

You are in my prayers too.

Love,

Donna Lisa :)

Ephesians 2:9-10 "For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it is a gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.  For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand that we should walk in them.

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful.." Proverbs 15:13