Email #1

Hello!

Thank you so very much for your prayers and words of encouragement!!!!!!!!  God has been doing amazing things in our lives.  Here is my story.

In the middle of May I detected a lump in my breast.  I was in my bathroom after my shower and I heard a "voice" say to me that I needed to do a self-exam.  I was talking myself through it and as I was saying "it would feel like a hard pea"... I felt it.  Mine was already larger than a pea... it was just inside the tissue so I did not notice it before.  I told Chris and he made my appt for me and I went to my doctor as soon as an appt was available.  My doctor said he too could feel the lump and he said he wanted me to go in for a mammogram. 

On Tuesday, June 18th I went in for my appt.  I had already been doing some research on the Internet and I had a pretty good guess of the two things that it could be.  As I sat in the waiting room, I read my bible.  I was reading and felt encouraged. I was my optimistic self.  I went in and was immediately put at ease when the technician started chatting with me.  A very sweet gal.  She did the mammogram (which is really not that bad - I thought it would be).  She asked me to wait in the waiting area.  About 5 minutes passed and she asked me in for an additional mammogram on the left and then one for the right.  As I stood up, I knew there was enough reason for alarm.  Though I was feeling scared, I prayed in my head "OK, Jesus you said you would never leave me or forsake me so come on!".  About 10 minutes passed and they had me in another room for an ultrasound.  The doctor took some pictures and then ordered me a biopsy.  On my drive home, I felt the world slipping out under my feet.  I cried in the car.  Once I got home my friend was here (taking care of the kids, along with her daughter).  I was able to tell her as much as I knew.  I might have cancer.  

Thursday night, I was sitting watching TV.  The kids were in bed.  The phone rang. It was a friend who was calling to show her support and let me know I was in her prayers.  During the conversation she told me he mother's cancer was a type 3 and grew to triple in size within a week.  She followed that information with the hope that her mother still has 5 years later after they killed the cancer.  I was sitting alone, letting my thoughts run.  By 10:30 PM my heart was racing and I was in despair.  I did not want my lump to grow like that and be cancer.  I cried out to the Lord "Who should I call?"  He gave me a name of a great friend, and an understanding that I was supposed to ask for scripture to read.  I called her, sobbing, "Hi this is Donna... I... just got a call..." then I told her what had happened.  She listened and encouraged me.  I said, "What am I supposed to read?"  Without skipping a beat she said "Philippians".  She prayed with me on the phone and we said goodnight.  Already I was feeling much better.  The next morning I awoke with a smile on my face.  Knowing God was in charge, faithful and that lots of people were praying for me.

I was told that the next available time would be Wednesday morning that they could fit me in.  Chris was in the field (helping train the National Guard).  I was not sure what to do.  I just prayed for the Lord to guide me.  I had to call Chris's work to get him a message to call home.  I told him what had happened and he said he would talk with his boss and see if he could come home a week early.   I had called a few people to let them know and I already had people praying.   I had 42 phone calls in just a couple of days!  Loving people sharing their love and prayerful support. By Saturday, many people knew and were praying. Chris was home by lunch that day.  We were all very thankful.  Our hearts were heavy with the potential findings.  We prayed, read the bible, listen to praise and worship music.  We knew that God was in control and that He would make a way.

Monday morning, 8:30 AM. Chris and I went to the class and God provided a wonderful friend to watch the kids.  We went to a class that had 4 other women and 1 other spouse to get information about what our breast lumps could be (cysts, benign tumors, or cancer).  Our teacher, a nurse named Genny, is a very caring and intelligent woman. She did an excellent job explaining things and answering our questions.  As more time passed, the more information we obtained the more we were certain that it was 1 of 2 things.... a benign tumor or a malignant one. 

Tuesday more prayer.  More reading of God's word.   More peace.  We then went in to have our biopsy done on Tuesday, a day before it was originally scheduled.  God provided another great friend to care for our children. That night a meal from another friend.  We are on the "prayer chain" at church.  I sent out an email letting people know what was going on. 

Tuesday afternoon, 10:00 AM appt. The biopsy went well.  There were 5 people in the room... Dr, nurse (Genny), tech and 2 residents.  The all did a great job keeping my spirits up while they were doing the procedure. The let me listen to my worship CD that I had brought... again ... hearing God's word through His bible verses put to songs. They said 6 working days until we get the information back and then another week to meet with the doctors about what they found (because of the 4th of July holiday).  More waiting.  More fear followed with peace.  So many of us praying and Chris and I going to His word for comfort and His promises.

Wednesday at lunch time... a call from Genny.  "Your preliminary results are in, when can you come in?". 

"2:30 PM" I said, "Chris is out running some errands for us." 

We had made childcare arrangements... our friend from church, "Nana" to the kids, who is like another grandma to the kids and a mother to us :).  Chris got him just in time and we left.  Each time we arrived at the hospital we prayed and thanked the Lord for going ahead of us and making a way for us.  We prayed for His strength to hold us up. Genny brought us in the counseling room.  Dr. Smith came in and shut the door.  We made a bit of light conversation.  And Dr Smith said " I don't know of any other way to tell you this, you have cancer." 

Though we had been preparing ourselves, we were in shock.  He did a great job explaining to us what was happening in my body.  Infiltrating Ductile Carcinoma.  It is a 1-inch tumor, and is the fast growing type of cancer.  They did a good job explaining what it was and what could be done and to focus on the hope.  I was sent downstairs for my chest x-ray and lab work.  Chris excused himself (to use the restroom) while I was getting blood work done... my first time alone... I went into get my blood drawn and made a comment to the technician "So I hear you are the best"...he replied, "No I am not, He is" and he pointed up.  With compassion in his voice he asked me how I was doing.  I started weeping and told him "I just found out about 15 minutes ago that I have cancer".  (he must have looked at my chart because he said my name) He said, "Oh, Donna you are in Jesus hands.  He loves you and He is going to continue to take care of you.  Trust in Him".  After he finished, I got up and gave him a big hug.  I knew God was giving me what I needed when I needed it.

We left there feeling a bit numb, and overwhelmed at the same time.  Do we cry and lose it?  How long to do we hold in the tears?  What and how far can we go in our conversations on the way home?  Chris put in my favorite worship CD and our hearts sang with the words... "Trust in the Lord with all of your heart... lean not on your own understanding... but in all your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight."  the next song... "Fear not for the Lord is with you".... He gave us what we needed when we needed it.  We came home and ate something.  Thousands of thoughts running through our minds, what, why, when, who do we call.... I picked up the phone... and still feeling a bit numb called and shared the news with a few people...some of them called people for us.  Chris and I took some moments to talk before we went and got the kids.  We held each other and cried. 

We went to pick up the kids at "Nana's house".  We turned the bend and saw our precious children happily riding bikes.

"Mommy! Daddy!  Look at me!  Watch me!  Nana let us have Popsicles... I can ride all by myself now.... watch this!!!!"

My heart felt heavy and it was getting hard to breathe.  I was feeling as though I was going to pass out.  I laid down in her lawn chair that was outside.  My sunglasses on, watching the children happily play, the clouds going by in the sky, hearing Chris and Nana talk".  As each breath got harder to take I continued to call upon the Lord " I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." (Philippians 4:13)  We gathered the kids and brought them home.  Listened to their delightful stories of all of the fun they had.  We helped them get ready for bed, prayed with them and kissed them goodnight.

I asked Chris if he would come to bed early with me... My chest was tight, feeling like I couldn't complete my breathe... back aching... very restless... I laid in my bed for a while and just could not rest. Before Chris had had a chance to turn off all of the lights and put the dog to potty one last time... I was already in the living room.  We talked some more, praised the Lord for his provisions to get through this time.  I cried some more. I took a hot shower. Chris read to me scripture and we listened to more worship music to help my heart focus on the Lord and all that He is able to do in our lives.  A few more phone calls... and God guided my heart in what to say... ministering to me as I shared with those whom I loved and loved me.  He was so faithful.

Finally, exhausted we went to bed.  Throughout the night my thoughts would wave in and out.  Each time I would drift into consciousness, my breath would already be short and then I would stop to listen to the music playing in my mind... the beautiful promises God made me then I would call upon the scripture I had memorized.

"Rejoice in the Lord always, and again I say rejoice.  Let your gentleness be evident to all.  The Lord is near.  Do not be afraid or anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your troubles to God and the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." (Philippians 4:4-7).... my breathing got easier and I would drift off again...I am not sure how many times I would repeating that... listening... asking for peace... relaxing ... sleep.... awake...

Morning finally came.  I was feeling tried, sore and a bit nauseous.  Chris took great care of me... milk, toast... medicine for my back... even muted the TV on things he knew would upset me...again... more prayer... The Lord gave me the strength to get ready.  Our appt with the team of doctors to go over my treatment was at 2:30 PM. 

I was lying on the bed in our room... Chris and I were talking.  I looked at him and told him that I felt that it was time to tell the children.  Happily they came into our room.  I said a prayer for the Lord to guide my words and began to speak... without a plan... just relied upon the Lord.

"You guys know how Mommy went to the doctor to have them check that bump in my chest?  Well, the doctor told me it was the annoying kind.  The kind that needed a lot of help to go away.  First, (showed them my right hand as a fist) there is a big bad guy that they have to take out (I pushed my fist away).  Then after he is gone there are some little bad guy friends that will be left in there.  I am going to get to go to the hospital to get "Superman medicine to fight the bad guys.  This fight will take a long time.  It probably won't be over until your next birthdays.  While they are fighting in my body it is going to make me a bit tired. And you know what?  They will be fighting so hard that it will make my hair fall out!"

"Oh" Molly said with a concerned look on her face as she put her hand to her chest.

"Really?"  said Daniel " Can I laugh at you?"

"No", I said glancing over at Chris, "but Daddy said he was going to cut his hair off too and you can laugh at him".

We all laughed. 

"You know what?" I said "Daddy said I would still be pretty even if did not have any hair, you can even ask him"

"Really Daddy?"

Chris smiled sweetly and said "Yes, very much".

I said "You know what else guys?  You know how many people we have in church, how big our family is and all of our friends?" 

"That is like a million people" Daniel said.

"It feels like it doesn't it?"  I continued " Most all of those people are praying for Mommy, Daddy, Daniel and Molly".  We are all in the loving care of Jesus.  Do we have to be worried?"

Shaking their little heads with smiles on their faces,” No Mommy we don't!"

They both happily hopped off the bed and got their swimsuits on to get ready.

We took the kids to go swimming with Nana.... so they could be spoiled some more.

I had a few more emotional ups and downs...by the time we reached the parking lot.  Now I know what God means about "pray without ceasing"... I don't remember ever stopping praying.

We arrived at the hospital a bit early.  Prayed again before we went in.  Fingers encircled as we held hands, holding tighter to the promises God made.

We met with the Pathway of Care team.  I had another examination.  After the exam by three doctors they left to go to the conference room.  I got ready and we followed them. God also gave me two wonderful ladies that are going to be helping me each step of the way -Cynthia who is a nurse and Patty who is the oncology social worker. Lots of hugs.

They each took turns explaining our care plan...surgery... chemotherapy and radiation.  They each remarked on my attitude and how amazed they were that were we already in meeting with them and it had only been 2 days after my biopsy.  "Things just don't happen this fast around here... there are just so many people to try to have ... just to get the information... this is just amazing".  Chris and I knew why, I smiled and said, "It is happening because so many people are praying".

At that meeting they told us of all of our options and their recommendations.  We decided that I would be having it removed, 4 -6 weeks healing, followed up with 6 months of chemotherapy and then 5 -7 weeks of radiation treatment if needed (50% chance I will).  "This is an aggressive treatment because our goal is to cure the cancer!" One of my doctors said.

I went in this morning to meet with my surgeon because he was trying to get me in for my surgery ASAP (the 3 doctors said that even though it is a fast growing cancer... it would not be in the rest of my body in this short amount of wait time if it was not already there so I will be OK).  He told me my appt for surgery is July 8 and I will be able to go home the next day.  No visitors.  They said they would have the results back in 7 - 10 days and the rest of our questions will be answered then.

I have 2 more appts next week to get ready.

They are the best in the country... the other military hospitals use this program as their model. I will be a part of this program for the next year to kill/cure the cancer.

I am so very thankful for all the Lord has done for me and for our family, for all He will do.

My breathing is back.  I do not feel any symptoms of cancer.  I feel like myself again (After this week and a half of waiting).  Most of all I have peace and joy in my heart.

I have the best physician of all.

Jesus.

I praise His name with a very thankful heart.

Thank you for your love and prayers.

We love you all very much!

Love, Donna :)

 P.S. Emails are great!  We ask that no one use the word "CANCER" with the kids.  Thank you for your support! 

"A happy heart makes the face cheerful.." Proverbs 15:13